


A Part of Me

by Rising_Phoenix



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Animals, Apartment, Babysitting, Bar, Batman - Freeform, Blocking, Blood, Breakfast, Cars, Champion - Freeform, Championship, Cheating, Child, Cowboys, Crying, Cursive, Deaths, Drink, Drinking, Empty, F/M, Fault, Finger guns, Fluff, Food, Fruit Punch, Gift, Ham and Cheese, Highway, Hilltop, Home, Hungry, Marlboro - Freeform, Missing, Optimism, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Pets, Plan, Plastic, Play Fighting, Playing, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Promises, Replica - Freeform, Restroom, Robin - Freeform, Sadness, Sandwich, Searching, Secrets, Shooting, Smoking, Spaghetti, Tears, Total Fluff, WWE - Freeform, Walkie, Whereabouts, Wrestling, action figure, affair, agreement, bad guy, belt, blade - Freeform, blame, daddy - Freeform, decline, father - Freeform, frog splash, good guy, hero - Freeform, kill, kingdom - Freeform, knife, marker, mommy, mother - Freeform, moves, note, pantry, parent, present, ransacking, room, scotch, secret, smoke, son - Freeform, sunset, surprise, together, visit, warning, whiskers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-09-09 14:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8894437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/Rising_Phoenix
Summary: Negan makes a surprise visit to your house only to find that you are not really alone like he had expected





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Work title may change

Heavy knocks sounding like bombs pounded away on my wooden door startling me.

I stand from the couch and make my way over to the door, unlocking and pulling open the wooden frame to witness Negan standing there with a big grin holding Lucille on his shoulder and Carl standing behind him.

"Well, aren't you going to be a good host, sweetheart, and invite me in?" Without giving me a chance to respond, Negan pushes me aside and struts past the threshold, his eyes roaming around, taking in the decorations or, rather, what's left of it.

My eyes roll and land on Carl "Are you okay?" I whisper, motioning for him to step inside

"The kid is fine" Negan answers for him

"I didn't ask you" I retort with an attitude

"Yes, I'm okay" Carl enunciates with a gentle tone, entering into the home.

I close the door and stand next to Carl with my arms crossed, Y/E/C eyes glaring at Negan, shooting daggers "You're rather early to collect, we don't have everything for you yet"

He shakes his head "No, I'm not here to collect, darling, I'm here because I-" Negan raises Lucille and points her at Carl "Brought him back home"

I turn my head and stare at Carl with furrowed brows, wondering just what sort of trouble he has gotten himself into now

"And-" he continues "I thought to myself, well, since I'm here I minus well pay your fine ass a visit" the lines on Negan's lips forming into a crooked smile "Especially since you were nowhere to be found last time I paid a surprise visit"

Negan inches closer and tilts his head, placing his lips near my ear "I missed you" he snickers backing away, turning his head towards Carl "Kid, go back home and make yourself useful helping Olivia in the kitchen, Y/N and I have things we need to discuss"

Carl and I exchange a quick glance as I give him a single nod, letting him know that everything will be fine.

"Go on, run along now, kid" Negan grabs Carl by the upper arm and leads him to the door, even opening it for him and shutting it once he leaves

Negan treads back over and leans in towards my face "You know when I saw you in the lin-" he pauses once hearing a door behind him creak open

"Mommy, I'm hungry" a soft voice speaks.

Negan spins around to witness a little boy with brown hair rubbing his hand in circles on tired eyes as he made his way over to me and wrapped his arms around my thigh, his tiny head lifting up, almond shaped orbs peering up at the giant before him.

"Wh-who are you?" The child asks, afraid

Negan kneels down, a smile on his face "I'm Negan, a friend of your mommies, what's your name little guy?"

"Y-Y/S/-" I crouch down and, before he could speak his full name, spin him around to face me, my hands resting on his shoulders

"Sweetie, go back to your room and mommy will be right in with something for you to eat ok, go on"

"Okay, mommy" The child patters back into the room, closing the door behind him.

Negan stands back up and lays Lucille down on top of the counter, his gloved hand resting on his hip, his other hand scratching along his forehead "Is uh-" he points towards the child's room "Is he my-"

"Yes-" I interject, nodding "He's your son, the same one you walked out on when you found out I was pregnant"

"Wow, I honestly thought you had an abortion or gave him up for adoption. You know I left because I was-"

"Married?" I interject again "Yeah, the reason you gave me on why you had to walk out which is funny because you weren't married when you were fucking me in the restrooms of the bar, you weren't married when you would stop by after work and fuck me in my apartment, no, you were only married and showing off with your ring when I told you I was pregnant"

"I didn't want to jeopardize my fucking marriage Y/N, my wife was fucking dying!" He slams his hand on top of the counter "I was going to break things off with you that day even if you weren't fucking pregnant, alright?"

"Oh, so you really broke things off because you felt guilty for being such a shitty husband then, go fucking figure, making the whole fucking world revolve around you as usual"

"Y/N-"

"You know what, it doesn't even fucking matter, what's done is done" I mutter running my hand through my hair

"I want to know my son Y/N, you're not keeping him away from me"

"Now you want to give a fuck and know him, really, four years later?"

Negan lowers his head staring at his boots "Yes, better late than never, that child needs a fucking father figure in his life, Y/N, for fuck sake let our son know his dad, he deserves that"

"Yeah, you're right-" I raise my arms defensively "He does" I point towards my son's door "Go ahead, Negan, know your son, let him know why daddy didn't give a fuck about him for four fucking years, please, be my guest"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two

Inhale, exhale, knock on the door and step inside with a ham and cheese sandwich in one hand and fruit punch in the other.

“Hey little man” Negan grabs his son’s attention with a smile as he crouches down and hands him the food “Got something to eat for you”

Y/S/N rests his Batman action figure on the floor and picks up a triangle cut slice of the sandwich “Thanks” he mumbles as he takes a small bite, Negan watching him with admiration

“Sure thing” Negan raises his hand and playfully ruffles his son’s hair “So how old are you?”

Y/S/N holds up four little fingers, wiggling them

“Four?”

“Yes, h-how old are you?” he looks up at Negan with a perplexed expression

“Y/S/N, honey, it’s not polite to ask that” I speak from the doorframe

Negan raises his hand towards me “No, it’s alright Y/N” he smirks “Your mommy knows how old I am little guy, she never talked to you about me?”

“No” Y/S/N shakes his head taking another bite of the sandwich “Mommy only, she only talked to me about my daddy”

“And what did mommy tell you about your daddy, little guy?”

“Mommy said that daddy is strong”

“That’s all?”

“I-I always asked her why I never had a daddy like my friends and she said that daddy was never there because he was out fighting bad guys-” he picks up the Batman toy and holds it in front of Negan’s face “To make the world safer for me, for when I grow up”

I raise my hand and fan my face as tears prick my eyes

“How did that make you feel that your daddy was always out fighting bad guys?”

“Sad” Y/S/N lowers his head in heartache, picking up another sandwich slice

“I’m sorry to hear that little man, how would you feel if daddy came back, would you be happy?”

A wide smile etches on Y/S/N’s face “Yes” he nods “Do you know where my daddy is?”

Negan points towards Lucille in my hands “You see the bat, little guy, the one your mommy is holding?”

Y/S/N turns his head staring in awe at the barb wired weapon “Yes” he nods

“That is the weapon that daddy used to fight the bad guys with, he actually still fights the bad guys with that, cool huh?”

“Yes, but-but that is yours, I saw it on your shoulder earlier in the kishen”

Negan chuckles at his son’s mispronunciation of the word ‘kitchen’

“Stealing is bad, did you steal that from my daddy?”

“No, little guy, the bat is mine, I-” Negan spins his head towards me for guidance

“Y/S/N, honey-” I step closer and kneel down next to Negan “Negan is mommies friend but he is also-” I pause, swallowing back tears “Negan is also your daddy, sweetheart” I reveal, finally

Y/S/N averts his eyes landing on Negan “Y-You’re my daddy?” his bottom lip quivering

“Yeah, little man, I grew too tired fighting all the bad guys on my own and I came back wondering if you wanted to be my sidekick”

“Like Batman and Robin?!” Y/S/N shouts excitedly, his pouted lip raising up into a wide grin

“Yeah-” Negan once again raises his hand, ruffling his son’s hair for the second time “Exactly like Batman and Robin, you want to help me out?”

“Yeah!” Y/S/N stands, almost knocking over his half-filled glass of the red sugary liquid and struts closer to Negan, his little arms wrapping around Negan’s neck

Slowly and hesitantly Negan raises his arms and wraps them around his son’s midsection, hugging him back with a genuine, sincere smile painted on his face   


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three

Clear warm water ran from the faucet hitting a dirty plate and empty glass. Negan stood next to me with his bat resting on his shoulder as my hands covered in soap, holding a sponge, ran in circles along the white ceramic.

“Thanks for that” His gruff voice speaks, breaking the silence “For helping me break it to him”

“I didn’t do it for you” I counter placing the plate under the water washing away the soap suds

“Well, thanks anyway” Negan sighs lowering his head “He has your eyes”

“Yeah, that’s all he has from me” I smirk “Everything else about him is all you”

“Tell me a little bit about him, what was his first word?”

I chuckle “His first word was no”

“Fuck, seriously?”

“Yeah. I was feeding him mashed carrots and he hated it the first time he tried it. When I brought the spoon close to his lips for the second time, he raises his little hand and pushes the spoon aside and that’s when he said it”

“That’s definitely my fucking boy right there” Negan proudly enunciates with a snicker

“Yeah, and it was only two months after that when he started to take his first few steps”

“Shit, man” he brings up his ungloved hand and runs it through his hair “I wish I would’ve been there to witness all of that cute shit”

“For his first Halloween he was a penguin” I smile at the flashbacks popping in my head of my son dressed in a puffy white and black costume

“You wouldn’t happen to have a picture by any chance, would you?”

“I-” Small bare feet pitter patter along wooden flooring, interrupting my train of thought

“Hey little man, you okay?”

“Yes” Y/S/N nods “I’m just bored” He raises his arm upwards, pointing his index finger at Negan’s bat “Can I hold it?”

Negan stares at Lucille and then averts his brown eyes down at his son, smiling, lowering her from his shoulder “Sure, little guy, of course you can” He kneels down and stands behind Y/S/N “What you wanna do is take this hand and place it here-” He takes ahold of his son’s right hand and places it at the thin end of the bat “And then you take this hand and place it here” Negan now takes a hold of Y/S/N’s left hand and places it on the smooth surface above his other one

“It’s heavy, I can’t hold it”

“That’s alright little guy, I’ll help you” Negan places his hands over his son’s tiny ones and slowly helps him swing the bat side to side

“Cool!” Y/S/N shouts “Why is it all bloody?”

“That’s the blood of all the bad guys that daddy fights”

“And what about the metal?”

“The metal is so the bad guys go down easier and faster”

“That’s cool, I want one too daddy!”

Negan stops swinging and, while still kneeling, places Lucille back on his shoulder, a wide grin etched on his face, warm, sparkling eyes running over his son’s soft features “I’ll find you one little man, and when I do, I’ll make it just like this one”

“You promise?” Y/S/N holds out his tiny pinky

Negan nods “Of course little guy” he intertwines his big pinky with his son’s little one “I promise”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part four (Sanctuary part one)

How can one ever resist a cute face of a four year old with a pouted bottom lip and puppy dog eyes? Say no as many times as your lips may allow but once your little one pulls that face you just can’t help but eventually give in and let your little one do whatever their little heart’s desire and, in this case, little Y/S/N wanting to go along with daddy to his castle, as Negan called it.   

“Alright, little guy, you ready to go inside?”

Y/S/N nods his head taking his daddy’s hand, big almond shaped eyes staring in awe at the giant building before him

“Come on little man” They step inside, Y/S/N’s teddy dragging against tile flooring, every being lowering down to their knees in Negan’s presence

“Daddy, why are they bowing?”

“That’s because daddy is the king of this castle little man, and everyone bows down to a king” Negan smiles “On your feet!” Little Y/S/N stares in wonderment as everyone now raise back up to their feet, going back to their original duties  

“Neg-” A tall man with a mustache steps forward, pausing once he notices the little child holding on tightly to Negan’s hand “I hope you don’t mind me asking, boss, but who’s the kid?” he kneels down to Y/S/N’s level making eye contact

“Y-Y/S/-”

“He’s my son, Simon, Y/S/N”

Simon raises his head in disbelief “Son?”

“Yeah, remember that hot girl in the lineup I told you about, the one I used to have a thing with?”

“Oh, nice to meet you little man!” Simon ruffles the child’s hair “I’m Simon, your daddy’s best friend”

“N-Nice to meet you sir” 

“Sir” Simon repeats raising back to his feet, chuckling “You’re a well-mannered kid, that’s good, your mom raised you well”

“Do you know my mommy, are you my mommies friend too?”

“No, kid” Simon turns his focus back to Negan “I have that thing to take care of so I should get going”

“He’s nice daddy”

“Indeed he is kiddo, that’s why he’s daddy’s best friend. Dwight!” A man with blonde hair and a half burned face turns from his work facing Negan, Y/S/N cowering behind Negan’s leg

“Yes?”

“Dwight be a good boy and have our special friend bring my son here and I some fruit in my private quarters, would you?”

“Of course, boss”

“Come on, kiddo” Negan drags his son along down empty corridors to his private quarters.

“Daddy, why was that man’s face burned?”

“His face was burned, little guy, because he did a very bad thing”

“What did he do?”

“He broke a rule”

“He broke a rule?”

“Yeah, little man” Negan pauses in front of his door, pushing it open “Here we are, help yourself in kiddo”

Y/S/N walks with a brisk pace inside the big room and climbs on top of the black leather couch, his teddy resting on his lap, his orbs eyeing the decorations of the room around him. Negan steps forward and takes a seat next to him, laying Lucille down on the table

“What do you think, Y/S/N, you like it?”

“Yeah” Y/S/N nods, his tiny feet dangling from the edge of the couch

“Come in” Negan utters in a sing-song manner responding to the knocking at the door that slowly swings open, Daryl stepping inside holding a tray of fruit, Dwight following behind holding him by the shirt

“Uncle Daryl!” little Y/S/N shouts excitedly as he jumps from the couch, discarding his teddy to the side and running to Daryl hugging him tightly around his leg

“Off kid” Dwight roughly grabs the back of Y/S/N’s shirt pulling him away from Daryl

“Dwight!” Negan shouts warningly

Dwight quickly releases the grasp of both Daryl and Y/S/N, lowering his head apologetically “My apologies”

“That’s alright Dwight, I’m a forgiving man so I’ll let it go this once but grab the kid like that again and I won’t be so forgiving next time, you can Fu-” Negan catches himself, not wanting to curse in front of his child, as difficult as that may be for him to do “You can F off now Dwight, thank you!”

Dwight steps out shutting the door behind him

“Uncle Daryl!” Y/S/N shouts again with excitement “What are you doing here?”

“He’s another one of daddy’s friends little man” Negan answers for him “He offered to stay here with daddy and help around the castle” He makes eye contact with Daryl, glaring intently at him “Isn’t that right, Uncle Daryl?” the last two words spewing from Negan’s lips covered with disdain

Daryl steps forward and lays the tray of fruit down on the glass table next to Negan’s bat “Yeah, that’s right”

Little Y/S/N makes his way back over, plopping himself back up on the couch next to his dad, grabbing a hold of the teddy and placing it back on his lap “Uncle Daryl, why are you wearing that?” Y/S/N questions referring to the tan fabric with a big, orange letter ‘A’ on Daryl’s chest, his tiny index finger pointing

“Daryl found it cool and asked daddy if he could wear it little man, said it made him feel like a superhero because of the big letter in the middle, right Uncle Daryl?”

“Yes” Daryl grunted “I swear if you hurt hi-”

“Dwight!” Negan shouted with a sarcastic, crooked smirk, snapping his fingers

The door swings open “Yes, boss?”

“You can take Daryl back out now, find him something else to do” Dwight steps forward and grabs the back of Daryl’s shirt, roughly dragging him out, shutting the door behind him 

“Daddy”

“Yeah, little man?” Negan reaches forward grabbing a strawberry

“Why did you send Uncle Daryl away, I wanted him here with me” Y/S/N asks softly accepting the strawberry

“Sadly Uncle Daryl had a lot of things that still need to be finished little man, he is the only one that knows how to properly sweep and clean the floors right, Daddy’s friends are stupid when it comes to that”

“That’s not nice daddy”

“You're right, little guy, I’m sorry”

“Daddy, are Uncle Glenn and Uncle Abraham here too?”

Negan leans back “No, little man, they’re not”

“Wh-where are they?”

“The monsters outside got them kiddo” The monsters in this case, of course, being Negan and his men “I’m sorry”

“Did you try to save them daddy?”

“Yeah, little man” he lies “But there were too many of them”

Y/S/N lowers his head in sadness

“Hey, cheer up little guy” Negan raises his hand and ruffles his son’s hair “I know what will cheer you up” He reaches over and grabs a hold of Lucille “You want to hold daddy’s bat?”

“Yes” Y/S/N sniffles wiping his nose with the back of his hand, taking a hold of Lucille and laying her across his lap

“Hold on little guy, I got something else for you” Negan leans forward and takes off his leather jacket “Put this on little man” Y/S/N inserts his arms into the sleeves, the leather jacket humongous on his little body “Wait, daddy has something else for you” Negan makes his way over to a chair and grabs a hold of his red scarf, taking it to Y/S/N and wrapping it around his neck, Y/S/N lifting his tiny hand and running over the fabric “Now you’re just like your dad little man, you like it?”

“Yes”

“Everyone will think twice about messing with you once they see you wearing this, kiddo”

“Really daddy?”

“Yeah, little man, come on stand up”

Y/S/N slides down from the couch, the jacket dangling to the floor, his hands struggling to hold the bat properly until eventually Negan gets behind him and helps him hold it much like before, swinging it around a few times, giggles eliciting from Y/S/N’s small tummy


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part five (Sanctuary part two)

Infectious giggles filled the big room as tiny feet ran around the open space jumping on, over, and behind furniture

"Come on daddy, catch me!" Little Y/S/N shouted as he ran behind the couch

"You're too fast little man, it's like trying to catch the Flash. Daddy isn't as young as he used to be little guy" Negan replies, out of breath, snaking his way behind the couch, reaching his hand forward to grab a hold of his son and end the torturous game of tag "Tag, you're it little man"

Y/S/N lowers his head in sadness at finally being caught "Aw, you got me, your turn to run now daddy!"

"Actually, kiddo, let's take a break for a little bit okay?"

"Okay" Y/S/N mutters in agreement pulling himself up on the couch, Negan sitting next to him

"Is tag your favorite game, little guy?"

"Yes" he nods "I play it with mommy all the time"

"Just mommy?"

"No, sometimes I play it with Uncle Carl and sometimes with Uncle Daryl whe-when he used to be there" Y/S/N speaks as he wiggles his feet on the edge in and up and down motion "Uncle Abraham and I used to play Cowboys, that was fun too"

"Cowboys?"

"Yes, we would have big sticks as horsies and our fingers were guns daddy. Uncle Abraham was the good guy and I was the bad guy"

"Does-" knocks rang out on the door "Come in!"

The door swings open, a woman with brown shoulder length hair wearing a black dress steps inside carrying two plates

"Sherry, darling, what brings you by?"

Sherry steps forward handing one plate of rice and lemon chicken with a side of vegetables to Negan and the other to Y/S/N "I was asked to bring these over for you and-" she glances over at the small child

"Y/S/N" Negan introduces "My son”

"Hi" Y/S/N greets with a smile, taking a bite of broccoli

Her eyes open wide in surprise, a hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "Hi" she acknowledges with a smile "I'm Sherry"

"You're another friend of my daddies?"

"Yes, I am Y/S/N"

Negan's son turns his head glancing up at his dad "You have a lot of friends daddy"

Negan ruffles his son's hair, chuckling "So do you little man because daddy's friends are your friends too kiddo"

"Really?"

"Of course little guy" he turns his attention back to Sherry "Thank you Sherry, you may go now sweetheart"

Sherry smiles "It was nice meeting you Y/S/N" she speaks stepping out and closing the door behind her.

"How do you like your food kiddo?"

"I don't like carrots" Y/S/N scrunches his face in disgust pushing the carrots to the side

Negan chuckles "I know little man"

"You do?"

"Yes" Negan nods "Your mommy told me"

"Daddy, why don't you and mommy live together, are you divorced?"

"What, little man?" Negan rests his unfinished plate on the table in front of him

"My friends parents didn't live together because th-they were divorced. Are-are you and mommy divorced too, is that why you live here far away and mommy lives over there?"

"Yeah, little guy, mommy and daddy are divorced" Negan lies, he and Y/N never being a couple to begin with, the two of them only having a friends with benefits kind of bond.

"Oh" the child brings a spoonful of rice to his mouth taking a bite

"You want your mommy and daddy together?"

"Yes"

"Would you be happy if mommy and daddy got together?"

"Yes" he nods his little head

"Alright little man"

"You and mommy will get together?"

"I can't make any promises kiddo but I'll talk to mommy when I take you back tomorrow okay, see what mommy says"

"Okay daddy, that's fair"

A smile etches on Negan's face "Anything for you little man"

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part six

Sit still and look pretty as this chair rocks back forth like a pendulum, eyes staring intently at the gate waiting for the piercing sound of wood banging against metal.

"Y/N" Rick speaks my name bringing me out of my trance, my eyes now averting on him

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for snapping on you earlier, I know it's not your fault for Negan doing this to us, I just-"

"It's fine, Rick, is there anything else?"

Rick lowers his head staring at the ground "No. Aaron and I are going to head out, look for supplies. We probably won't be back for a while so if Negan-"

"I'll let him know" I interject "Be safe"

He nods his head in acknowledgment, hesitantly calling for Aaron. They make their way over to the gate, sliding it open, Negan with Y/S/N holding on to his hand and a few Saviors behind them stand on the other side

"Uncle Rick!" Y/S/N shouts jumping giddily

Rick crouches to his level "Hey there kiddo, how are you, you alright?"

"Yes" Y/S/N nods his head "My daddy took good care of me" he looks behind Rick's shoulder seeing me still rocking back and forth on the chair "Mommy!" He shouts letting go of his daddy's hand, tiny feet running as fast as they could towards me.

Rick stands straight, dark eyes glaring at Negan

"Cute fucking kid, isn't he?" Negan questions with a cocky smirk, his lips inching closer to Rick's ear "He takes after his dad"

Lowering his head, Rick bites his tongue, fighting the urge to clench his hand at his side and take a swing.

"Come on Rick, we should get going. We'll want to make it back before nightfall" Aaron mutters, his hand on Rick's shoulder

"Heading out?" Negan scoffs "Where you headed in such a rush, Rick?"

"We're off to ge-"

"I don't believe I was fucking asking you" Negan turns, staring angrily at Aaron

"We're off to get supplies for you"

"Well, in that fucking case then-" Negan steps to the side, his hand reached out pointing towards the gate "Go on out and get me some fucking goodies! And don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back" he snickers "You be careful out there now!"

Aaron and Rick step out, Negan shutting the gate behind them, making his way over to the porch where Y/S/N and I stood sitting on the stairs

"Mommy look what daddy gave me" Y/S/N runs his hand over the red fabric wrapped around his neck

"His red scarf, it looks good on you sweetie" I compliment

"Damn right it fu-" Negan catches himself "Effing looks good on him. Kid is a looker like his dad, everything looks good on him"

I roll my eyes, ignoring Negan for the time being "Did you have fun with daddy at his castle, Y/S/N?" I question, lightly tickling my son's tummy, tiny giggles escaping him

"Yeah" Y/S/N replies with a big grin "Daddy's castle is huge mommy!" He opens his arms wide at his sides "I met all of daddy's friends, we-we played tag, and mommy I saw Uncle Daryl!"

"You saw Uncle Daryl, how is he?" I asked him while my eyes glared up at Negan

"He is good mommy, he brought daddy and me fruit at daddy's room and a pretty lady brought daddy and me ri-rice with chicken and vegetables"

"She did?" I gasp playfully "Did you eat all of it?"

"Yes, but not the carrots" he points his little finger up at Negan "Daddy ate those"

"Did he?"

Y/S/N nods his head "Mommy can I go in and play with my toys?"

"Sure, little guy" I bring up my hand and move the tiny hairs covering his eyes to the side "Go ahead"

Little Y/S/N quickly stands from the stairs and runs inside to his room

I glance at Negan, shaking my head as I stand and make my way inside as well

"What?" Negan mutters, innocently following my tail, shutting the door behind him

"What are you having Daryl do for you there?" I question with arms crossed

"Stuff"

"Stuff" I repeat "You mean he's your slave?"

"No, he's the help"

"Is he really okay?"

"Yes" Negan lowers Lucille, resting her on the couch "He's fine, you have my word on that"

"You do anything to him and your son will be devastated, I hope you realize that"

"I know that Y/N, just like he was devastated about Glenn and Red"

"He asked you about Glenn and Abraham?"

Negan nods "He asked if they were there with Uncle Daryl" he rolls his eyes at the name

"And you said?" My heart beating hard inside my chest, afraid of Negan's answer

"I had to lie and say the monsters got them"

"Well that's not even really a lie now is it?" I scoff

"Y/N-"

"How long are you staying?" I intervene with an attitude

"I have no fucking idea sweetheart, as long as I fucking choose to"

"So I guess you'll be staying for dinner then, you still like spaghetti?" I point behind me towards the kitchen, more specifically the pot on the stove

"Yes" he responds taking a seat on the couch next to Lucille "Can you sit down please, I have to talk to you about something"

I take a seat on the couch chair "So talk then"

Negan brings up his hand, running it through his hair "How would you feel about us getting together?"

"What?" I scoff, half chuckling at his suggestion "Are you seriously trying to ask me to be your sixth wife?"

"No! How, where, who-"

"I spoke to Carl you asshole. You're sick, you know that? Does our son fucking know that his daddy is a man whore?"

"He only met one of them Y/N, for fuck sake, and she introduced herself as just a friend alright?"

"Yeah, because how appropriate it would be to tell a four old that his daddy is a slut" I reply sarcastically

"Enough, Y/N, please?"

"I'm letting you know right now, our son is not going back there. You want to see him, do it when you come to collect every week"

"Y/N I'm asking you because our son wants us to be together, he wants both of us there for him at the same time, he said he would be happy if you and I got together. If you don't fucking believe me, go in there and fucking ask him yourself"

"You know I want to say yes and just leave here and try to be happy with you and your whores at this 'castle'-" my fingers placing air quotes around the word "Especially since I had no choice but to reveal everything to Rick and everyone else once they saw Y/S/N leave with you and they bombarded me with questions afterwards. The way they act towards me now it just feels like-"

"They don't fucking trust you?"

"Yeah" I nod "But, at the same time, I can't be with someone who takes pleasure in bashing people's heads in, who sees killing as just another sport. I can't be with someone who chooses to sleep around with various women especially since now there's a child involved in his life"

"I understand that Y/N but at least think about it, for our son? Right now, we have to do what's best for him, do you really want him going back and forth or only allow him to see his dad just once a week?"

"Negan-" I sigh, rubbing my face with my hands "I'll think about it, for him, alright, just give me time"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part seven

Little Y/S/N roamed the house in search for his new opponent, tiny feet strutting to the couch where Negan lay back with his head resting against the couch back cushion.

“Daddy” Y/S/N’s hand pulling on Negan’s pant leg “Daddy will you play wrestling with me?”

Negan opens his eyes to witness his son in front of him sporting a miniature WWE Universal Championship belt around his waist.

“Wrestling? Sure little man” Negan wraps his arms around Y/S/N placing him on his shoulder, cute giggles filling the house “Okay, little man, what kind of match should we have?” He questions, gently lowering his son on the bedroom floor

“One fall daddy!” the small child shouts unclasping his belt, placing it on the nightstand “And whoever wins is champion”

“Sounds fair little guy, let’s do it” Negan slouches down to his sons level “You ready?”

Y/S/N nods his head

“Ding!” Negan imitates the bell beginning the match. Y/S/N clenches his fist, swinging on Negan’s face, Negan feigning pain when, in reality, he felt none at all.

“Come on, daddy, fight back!”

Negan picks his son up and gently body slams him on the bed, getting on top and covering him for a quick three count “One!” Negan shouts “Two!-”

Y/S/N raises his shoulder before the final count, his small hands on Negan’s chest pushing him, Negan, playing weak, falls off the bed laying on his back. Y/S/N stands near the edge “Frog splash, daddy!” he leaps, flying like a bird in midair landing right on top of his dad, his hand reaching Negan’s leg, struggling to raise it in the air but Negan eventually raising it on his own

“One!” Y/S/N shouts “Two!-”

Negan raises his shoulder “You’re not going to win that easily little guy”

“We’ll see daddy” Y/S/N stands on his feet, Negan still lying flat on his back “Five Knuckle Shuffle!” Y/S/N raises his hand and waves it across his face while leaning down towards his dad “You can’t see me!” he shouts, small feet running to one side and back again, bouncing his shoulders in an up and down motion, right hand wiping over his left shoulder. He scrunches his hand into a fist and slams it down on Negan’s forehead. Y/S/N climbs on top going for another three count “One!...Two!-”

Negan lifts his shoulder breaking the count. He wraps his arms around his son and stands with his hold still on him, placing Y/S/N on his shoulders and back dropping him on top of the bed. He stands from the bed staring down at his son, catching his breath, contemplating his next move.

Y/S/N quickly lowers from the bed, punching his dad in the stomach, Negan crouching over. The small child wraps his arms around his dads neck in a headlock, Negan dropping down to his knees

“Tap daddy!”

“No way, little man!” Negan shouts, his head still in the headlock. He grabs his sons arms and lifts them off his neck, Negan quickly placing his head between his sons legs, using his strength to raise him in the air and carefully power-bomb him on the bed, afterwards climbing on and holding his son for the three count or rather, in this case, two count.

Negan stands on the bed helping his son up, who once again punches him in the stomach causing Negan to once again lean forward, Y/S/N placing his dad’s head between his legs and raising his arms holding them behind his back. Negan smiling, knowing his son was going to Pedigree him, played along helping his son, giving him the strength to pull off the finishing move and pin him down for the three count

“Three!” Y/S/N shouted as he jumped off the bed with his arms raised in victory “Wooo!” he shouts doing the infamous Ric Flair strut, Negan chuckling at the sight, overload of cuteness, before him.

“Good match kiddo, you beat me fair and square” he holds up his hand for a high five

“Good match daddy!” Y/S/N slapping his dads hand. He walks over and grabs the championship clasping it back around his waist “Mommy!” the kid shouts excitedly running out

“What is it sweetie?”

“I won mommy, I’m still WWE Universal Champion!”

“You beat daddy?” I question, trying to match his excitement

“He sure as heck did” Negan answers for him as he steps foot inside the kitchen, winking as he took a seat at the head of the table “Little man knows some good moves”

Y/S/N, all smiles, sits close to his dad.

I step over and place the large bowl full of pasta in the middle of the table next to the pitcher of lemonade along with a basket full of rolls.

“Since you’re up do me a favor and grab Lucille for me darling?”

I furrow my brows in confusion “Why?”

“Please?” he asked instead, ignoring my original question

Rolling my eyes I make my way over to the coffee table and pick up his precious barb wired bat. I strut back and hand it to him to which he accepts her with a smile pulling out the chair that sat across from Y/S/N and leaning her against it.

I make my way over to Y/S/N and pour some spaghetti on his plate “You want a roll Y/S/N?”

“No thank you, mommy” He grabs the big fork in his little hand and begins to eat

“You want some lemonade?”

Y/S/N nods his head, my hand grabbing the pitcher, pouring the liquid into his long glass “Negan, lemonade?”

Negan grabs his glass and holds it a few inches from the table as I pour the yellow liquid in it

“Thank you doll”

I lower the pitcher and take my seat next to Lucille filling my plate with spaghetti and glass with the sugary drink.

“Pass the rolls please sweetheart?” Negan asks with a sincere smile

My hand reaches over and grabs a hold of the basket holding it to Negan who grabs a single roll.

"Daddy, do you want to hear a joke?"

"Sure champ, I could use a laugh"

"Knock knock" Y/S/N balls his hand into a fist, knocking on thin air

"Who's there?" 

"Doris"

"Doris who?"

"Doris locked daddy, that's why I had to knock"

Negan chuckles at the simple joke almost spilling out his lemonade "Good one kiddo, that's funny"

"Mommy why don't teddy bears eat at picnics?"

"I don't know, honey, why?"

"Because they're already stuffed"

Negan and I laugh in unison 

"Where did you learn these jokes from little guy?" Negan questions twirling his fork in the spaghetti

"Uncle Abraham, he knew a ton of jokes that he would tell me whenever I would get sad" Y/S/N mutters sadly, Negan and I exchanging a glance

"Laughter is the best medicine kiddo, you ever hear that before?"

"Yes" he nods his little head

"Hey, Y/S/N, sweetie-"

“I just want to talk to him!” a male voice loudly enunciated from outside

I turn my head and stare at Negan

“I’ll handle it” Negan directs at me standing from his chair, grabbing Lucille, and stepping outside

“Arat, don’t be an asshole” I hear Negan speak, rolling my eyes as I go on eating the spaghetti and waiting for a while until Y/S/N finished his.

“I’m finished mommy” he finally enunciates 

“Good job little man, did you like it?”

“Yes” Y/S/N nods grabbing the plate, making his way over to the sink, the porcelain dish slipping from his grasp shattering to bits and pieces at his feet, the loud banging noises emitting from outdoors startling him "Mommy, what was that sound?"

Of course I already knew it was gunshots, two of them "That was just thunder, sweetie" I lie "Hey-" my fingers tickling on his tummy "Go to your room and play with your toys little man while mommy cleans this up, we don't want you to get your little feet all cut up"

"Okay mommy" Y/S/N runs to his room shutting the door behind him  

I kneel down picking up the shards of porcelain and tossing them in the trash as blood boils inside me, angry at Negan for whatever he caused now. 

"Inhale, exhale" I whisper to myself as I do the action's trying to stay calm "Inha-" The door creaks open. I stand facing a blood covered Negan who lays Lucille down on the couch "Negan"

He turns facing me

"What the fuck did you do?" 

"I'm sorry Y/N" Negan apologizes, his voice calm and sincere "But I had to do it"

I briskly make my way over to the window and drag the curtain to the side, gasping at the sight of Spencer laying on the ground, his stomach cut open, surrounded by his own blood and organs

My hand covers my mouth, the spaghetti from an hour ago wanting to make its way up my throat, struggling, dry heaving.

"Y/N-" Negan inches closer, his hand rubbing on my back 

"Don't touch me" I shove his hand away, strutting over to the other side of the room, my back towards him 

"I told my men to clean up all the mess Y/N, Y/S/N is not going to see it"

"The gunshots, who else did you kill?"

"Rosita was trying to kill me Y/N, Arat shot the other killing-" he pauses, refusing to answer

"Killing who, Negan?" I turn my head, glaring at him over my shoulder

"Olivia"

I scoff shaking my head "This is exactly what I mean when I say that you see killing as just another sport, murdering people left and right without any fucking regard of how others are affected by you and your people's sadistic actions" I turn on my heel stepping towards Negan, staring at him for a moment before raising my hand, slapping him across the face, walking and taking a seat on the couch, my eyes seeing a bullet lodged into Lucille

"Y/N, would you please just lis-"

"Take off your clothes so I can wash them, I refuse to have our son see his father covered in blood"

He sighs, his hands sliding off his leather jacket, the rest of his clothes following suit tossing them on the cushion next to me 

"Don't follow me" I mutter as I grab his clothes and make my way to the restroom, slamming the door behind me leaving Negan alone in the living room covered in nothing but his grey boxers and his socks. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part eight

Pink lipstick lip prints mark the end of a Marlboro death stick like a tattoo, diaphragm inhaling poison to calm this mind racing like a runner in a marathon.

“Shit-” Negan whimpers closing the screen door behind him “I thought you fucking gave up smoking when we first started messing around” he struts over hanging his leather jacket over the other empty rocking chair, plopping himself down onto it. He leans Lucille against the edge of the small table and helps himself to my already filled glass of scotch.

I bring the cigarette to my lips, inhale, and turn my head towards Negan, exhaling the white vapor in his face.

He coughs “Still fucking giving me the silent treatment huh?”

Inhale, exhale, ignore his existence beside me

“What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?” Negan quizzes randomly, chuckling at the answer he already knew

Still I ignored him, taking another whiff of the cigarette

“Better hold on to your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob” He breaks out into laughter, his hand on his stomach “Come on Y/N, that was fucking funny!”

Indeed, it was a funny joke but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me crack

“Oh, look whose finally back!” his words oozing with sarcasm as the gates open, Rick stepping out as Aaron drives the truck inside “I wonder what goodies he got for me” Negan wiggles his brows, taking a sip of the scotch “What do you think he got for me Y/N?”

I take a final whiff of the cigarette and stub it out in the ashtray, twinkling Y/E/C colored eyes staring at the commotion unfolding before me as one of Negan’s men beat Aaron to a pulp while another points a gun inches away from Rick’s face.

Negan stands putting on his leather jacket and grabs a hold of Lucille “I’ll handle it doll” He makes his way over to the scene ordering his men to back off, Rick running to Aaron, helping him up.

Shaking hand tucks a strand of hair behind my ear “Carl!” I shout, assuming that he either didn’t hear me or just plain out ignored my call, as he made his way over, taking Aaron, helping him home.

“Rick!” Negan places his hand on Rick’s shoulder “You owe me a fucking thank you! I mean, look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends and because of that we’re never gonna sit around and braid each other’s hair or share our deepest darkest secrets but how about a little credit? I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am. Not too long ago your kid hid in one of my trucks and machine gunned a bunch of my men down and I brought him home safe and sound. And the last couple of hours were a handful let me tell ya because another one of your people, Spencer to be more specific, well, he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out….For you. And another one, Rosita, she shot Lucille trying to kill me so I gave you one less mouth to feed! And by the looks of her, that mouth did some major damage! Now, personally, I wouldn’t of picked her to be the one to go but Arat-” he sighs “I don’t know, just didn’t trust her”

Negan grins cockily, waiting for Rick to offer a response

“Your shits waiting for you at the gate. Just go”

“Not a chance Rick! Not tonight at least” he chuckles, turning his back towards Rick and taking a few steps forward before stopping himself “Oh-” Negan turns facing him once more “You should know that I had one of my men take Eugene to my humble abode where he could be of some great use!” he winks “Don’t be mad Rick! Again, be thankful!” Negan turns making his way over back to the porch where I still sat.

He slumps down, resting Lucille and picking up the half-finished glass of scotch taking a sip “Oh, that is good” the glass landing back on the table with a clink “It’s always fucking beautiful when the sun starts to set, wouldn’t you agree Y/N?”

My eyes stare at the setting sun, orange and purple mixed with a little bit of blue. Indeed, it was beautiful

“Daddy” Y/S/N mumbles as he patters his little feet towards his dad.

“Hey there little man” Negan picks him up and sits him down on his lap, bouncing him   

“Daddy, what is that?” his finger pointing at the pool table situated in the middle of the street

“That’s a pool table kiddo”

“What is it for?”

“It’s for playing, sweetie” I finally speak, Negan grinning

“Playing?”

“Yeah, little guy, with two or more people. You use those sticks to shoot the balls into the holes”

“Do you know how to play daddy?”

“I do”

Y/S/N turns his head, facing me “What about you mommy?”

“No, sweetie” I shake my head “I don’t know how to play”

“Daddy”

“Yeah, little man?”

“Daddy, we can use those sticks as horsies, will you play cowboys with me daddy, please?”

“Of course kiddo!”

Negan lowers Y/S/N from his lap, his tiny feet running towards the pool table, picking up a stick and placing it between his legs

“You want to play mommy?” Y/S/N shouts, his hand gesturing guns

“No, that’s alright honey, you and daddy have fun”

“Aw, come on Y/N, you can be the sexy damsel in distress that I-” Negan places his hand on his chest “Get to save from the bad guy” his finger guns pointing at Y/S/N

I glare up at Negan, shaking my head

“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us sheriff, pew, pew!” Y/S/N shooting fake imaginary bullets at his dad, Negan ducking down, dodging, firing a few fake bullets of his own

Y/S/N runs as quickly as he could on his imaginary horsie, stopping abruptly in front of Rick who sat on the porch with his face in his hands

“Hey Rick!” Negan utters haughtily as he steps next to his son, gun fingers pointing at Rick “Pew, pew” he brings his finger guns close to his lips, blowing away imaginary smoke “You’re dead”

“No daddy, you’re the good guy, you’re sposed to save Uncle Rick from me, not shoot him”

“I shot him because I thought he was one of your bandit friends little man and, I, as the Sheriff of this town, can’t have that”

“Actually, you did me a favor daddy!” Y/S/N kicks the stick “Giddy up horsie!” he runs back in front of the house, Negan eventually catching up “Let’s have a standoff now daddy, end our feud once and for all” he lowers the stick to the floor and faces his dad, inserting his fake gun into a fake holster, Negan doing the same

They stood staring at each other intently, their fingers wiggling by their fake holsters, Y/S/N quickly pulling out his fake gun, shooting imaginary bullets at Negan who pulled out his gun but was too late to fire, dropping to the floor, feigning death.

“I still rule this town sheriff” Y/S/N steps towards Negan, hovering over him “Nobody can beat me” he treads back to the stick, placing it between his legs “Come on, horsie, let’s head back home”  Casually, he skips his way back over to me on the porch

Negan stands, running his hands over his clothes, rubbing off the dirt “You know, I guess it’s a lie then when people say that the good guys always win because that bad guy over there-” Negan pointing at Y/S/N “Totally kicked my fu-” Negan catches himself  “Effing butt!”

Y/S/N chuckles, dropping the stick, his little laugh turning into a yawn

“You tired sweetie, you want to go to bed?”

He nods “Yes, but you always tuck me in mommy, I want daddy to tuck me in this time”

“Alright, sweetie”

Negan walks up the stairs, Y/S/N grabbing onto his hand “Come and tuck me in daddy” he drags Negan into the house

“Brush your teeth first!” I shout as I grab the glass off the table and down the remainder of the scotch, picking up Lucille and making my way inside where I see Negan and Y/S/N step into the bedroom, the door left slighty opened.

I rest Lucille on the couch and make my way over leaning against the wall, listening

“Are you comfortable little guy?” Negan asks, pulling the covers all the way up to his son’s chin

“Yes” Y/S/N mutters tiredly “Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, kiddo, ask away”

“Daddy, where do babies come from?” Negan smiled, knowing that this question would be asked to him eventually, being prepared for only half the answer, the other half saved for when his son grew into a teenager

“Babies come from their mommies little man, their tummies”

“I came from mommies tummy?” his orbs opened wide in amazement

“You did kiddo” Negan nods, ruffling his son’s hair

“How did I get in there daddy?”

“That, little guy, is a question that daddy will explain to you when you get older and I teach you how to be a ladies man like your dad, getting all the pretty girls”

My eyes roll dramatically out in the hallway as I continued to eavesdrop on their conversation

Y/S/N scrunches his face in disgust, his tongue sticking out “Girls are yucky daddy!”

“You say that now kiddo but wait until you get older” Negan laughs, clearly amused   

“Daddy, can I ask you another question?”

“Sure champ”

“Do you love me?”

Negan furrows his brows in surprise, his feelings a bit hurt that his son would even ask him such a question “Of course I do, little man, why would you even ask me such a question?”

“Because my friend once told me that he thought his daddy didn’t love him because he never said it. I was just wondering” 

“Men are, what is called, ‘macho', little guy”

“What is that daddy?”

“Guys like you and me, kiddo, always want to be strong and big and hard and, therefore, to make ourselves that way we don’t say ‘I love you’ and other sweet things that girls say, especially to other men unless they’re-“ Negan pauses, hesitating

“Unless they’re what daddy?”

“Unless they’re gay, kiddo, in love”

“I once had a friend who was gay daddy, I know what that is”

Negan blows out a sigh of relief

“Actions speak louder than words anyway, right daddy?”

“That’s exactly right kiddo, who taught you that?”

“Mommy” Y/S/N whispers “Do you love mommy too daddy?”

Negan opens his mouth, the words getting caught in his throat, for a moment purposely hesitating to give his son a response “I-I do kiddo, very much”

I raise a hand and wipe a tear that slid down my cheek, wondering if he was really telling the truth or just lying to spare his son the heartache of actually knowing the truth behind Negan’s feelings towards me

“I love her too daddy and I’m sure she loves you also like I do” Y/S/N conveys with a wide smile “Did you talk to her about getting together yet?”

Negan coughs back his emotions “I did”

“What did she say daddy?”

“Mommy said that she needs time to think about it, little guy, and she’ll get back to me when she does”

“Okay daddy” the small child yawns, drifting off to sleep.

Negan rises from the edge of the bed and kisses him on his forehead, turning off the light beside him “Goodnight, kiddo” Negan whispers making his way towards the door

My back still leans against the wall, not moving a muscle because, as crazy as it may sound, I wanted him to step out and catch me, realize that I heard each and every single word that spewed from his lips whether truth or heartbreaking lies.

“Shit Y/N” Negan jumps, startled, closing the door shut “Eavesdropping were we?”

I stay silent, not muttering a single word, tears pricking eyes that lower staring at the ground

Negan inches closer, his body centimeters away from grazing against mine, his large stature towering above me “I’ll take that as a yes” he places one hand on my hip, the other under my chin raising my head, forcing me to look at him “You know I wasn’t fucking lying when I told our son that I love you Y/N” his thumb tracing over my bottom lip, his eyes following the movement “I do love you”  

Another tear slides down my cheek, too emotional at those words that were aimed at me, never ever escaping his lips until now and, still, I remain silent like a mute

“Tell me Y/N, what would happen if I were to kiss you right now?”

I shrug my shoulders, Negan taking that as a sign to go for it and take his chances, unaware and unafraid of the consequences.

He tilts his head slightly and gradually lowers it until his lips lightly touch against mine, both of us closing our eyes, the butterflies and fast beating hearts making this moment feel like our first kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part nine
> 
> Part ten will not be added until after the next episode in February.

Morning was here and breakfast was ready – eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausage and orange juice covering the squared table situated in the middle of the dining room.

“Y/S/N, sweetie, come on bre-” I freeze, Y/S/N with marker in hand drawing cat whiskers on Negan’s face “Honey-” I grab the marker from his hand, eyes searching for ‘permanent’ but instead luckily reading ‘washable’ “Where did you get this?”

“In my toy box, mommy” he pouts “I had no paper so I drew on daddy’s face” he giggles

Negan opens his eyes, groaning, my hand with the marker quickly hiding behind my back “Y/S/N go eat your breakfast sweetie”

Y/S/N leaves the room, sitting himself down on a chair, creating a mess eating his breakfast with his hands.

“Morning sexy” Negan greets with a deep voice and crooked smile

A giggle slips out of my lips, my free hand raising in front of my lips to keep more from escaping, even accidentally “Good morning, I made breakfast if you’re hungry”

Y/S/N stalks over with bacon strip in hand standing in front of Negan “Meow daddy” he laughs and runs back to the table.

Negan sits up, rubbing his eyes “Why did our son just fucking meow at me?”

I grab Negan’s wrist and drag him into the restroom facing him in front of the mirror

“What the fuck?” Negan raises his hand, running it over the black lines near his lips, his brows furrowed in utter confusion

My hand with marker comes forward holding the thick pen out to him “Our son is quite the artist isn’t he?” I snicker

“Yeah, he’s a real fucking Picasso” Negan grabs a long line of toilet paper and turns on the faucet wetting the thin layered sheets “This shit better come off” He places the wet toilet paper on his face, rubbing away at the ink

“What are you so upset for? Be happy he drew something cute instead of dicks and balls around your mouth, asshole”

“Don’t give him any fucking ideas” Negan warns, wiping off a final whisker, now working on the other side

“You know his birthday is next month” I comment leaning against the tile walling, changing the conversation “On the third” my arms crossing across my chest “I’m telling you now so you have time to get something for him, like that baseball bat you promised”

“I’ll fucking get it for him Y/N, don’t worry, I know a sports place that owns a shit ton of them”

“Good”

“Anything else you know he wants or likes?”

“He likes animals but I highly doubt you’ll be able to find him a cat or dog anywhere”

“Want to bet that I fucking will?”

“Mommy!” Y/S/N shouts making his presence known under the door frame, round eyes averting from me to Negan “Daddy”

“Yeah, kiddo?” Negan wipes off the last whisker, tossing the paper in the trash.

“Will you be staying here today also?”

He steps forward, kneeling down to his son’s level “No, little man, daddy has some work to get done over at his castle.”

Y/S/N pouts his bottom lip in sadness

Negan raises his hand, placing it on his son’s shoulder “Don’t be sad, little guy, daddy will be back before you know it”

“Really?”

Negan nods pulling his son closer, hugging him “Really”  

“Did you finish your breakfast Y/S/N?” I ask, ruffling his hair

“No”

“Then come on and let’s go finish your breakfast, little man” Negan stands grabbing his sons hand, walking with him to the dining room

“Y/-” Negan pauses, hearing the knocking on the door  

“I’ll get it” I call out strutting towards the door, opening it, Rosita standing on the other side

“Rosita” I greet, stepping out, quietly shutting the door behind me “What’s going on?”

“Can we sit?” She inquires motioning at the chairs on the porch

“Sure”

We take a seat, my body instinctively rocking the chair back and forth

“Rick and I have been talking” she mutters staring straight

“About Negan I’m guessing?”

She nods “We think it would be easier for you to do it”

“Do what?” I ask already knowing the answer, my ears wanting to hear her be brave enough to speak the words

Rosita swings her head, staring intently into my soul “Kill Negan”

“Are you crazy?”

“He trusts you Y/N, he wo-” she interrupts herself, her eyes now on my neck “You-you’re involved with him?”

“Excuse me?”

“The hickey on your neck”

I raise my hand placing it where her eyes were staring as if to magically feel the mark against my skin “That is not your concern” I retort

“Can we still trust you Y/N?”

“Yeah, you can” I speak, slightly annoyed

“Then help us in bringing him down”

“No, I will do no such thing, and neither will any of you” I huff “I am not taking my son’s father away from him”

“He’d be better off”

“I would be careful what I speak if I was you Rosita” I warn “That little boy in there adores, loves his father to death. To kill Negan, would be emotionally killing my son and I can’t let that happen, I refuse to let that happen”

“So you’re not going to do shit, that’s what you’re saying?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying”

“I figured that” Rosita comments tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear

“I’m not on your side Rosita but I’m not on Negan’s side either. I’m on my son’s side and my son wants his dad alive and I’ll make damn sure he stays that way, you hear me?”

“Yeah, loud and clear” she adjusts her hat, standing “I’ll let Rick know then” Rosita leaves, my eyes glancing around at Negan’s men making direct contact with the one who beat Aaron, his lips forming into a wide arrogant smirk.

I roll my eyes, standing and making my way inside, joining Negan and little Y/S/N for breakfast.  

"Hey" Negan calls "Who was that?"

"Rosita" I answer honestly, taking a seat next to Y/S/N "She was just upset and needed someone to talk to that's all"

"Yeah?" Negan questions, his eyes landing on the hickey, lips forming into a smirk.

"Yeah" my teeth chewing down on a strip of bacon, lips forming into a smirk of my own "Are you proud of yourself?" 

"Heck yes" Negan answers, knowing that I was speaking about the mark "And I would do it again too, all over"

"Do what all over daddy?" Y/S/N curiously mutters

Negan opens his mouth, stuttering, struggling to come up with a lie 

"Tickle me, sweetie" I answer for Negan "Your daddy thinks it's funny to pretend to be the tickle monster and run his hands all over tickling me on my tummy, legs, and feet" my eye winking at Negan "I would watch myself if I was you little guy, daddy wasn't too happy earlier that you drew whiskers on his face"

Y/S/N laughs cutely "Meow!"

"Oh that's it kiddo, you better run now, the tickle monster has had enough and is coming to get you" Negan wiggles his fingers at his son

"No!" Y/S/N shouts jumping from his chair, running into his room and shutting the door behind him

Negan sits still, his eyes glued on my soft features

"Don't stare at me like that Negan, it makes me uncomfortable"

Negan continues to stare at me in the same manner "Now that our son is not present, you want to tell me why Rosita was really here?" 

"I told you why"

"Bullshit Y/N"

I sigh, groaning "Fine. She was asking me to be the one to kill you and I declined, okay?"

"You declined?"

"Yes but I didn't do it for you, I did it for Y/S/N. I don't want our son to lose another important person in his life, especially his own flesh and blood, no matter how much of a sadistic asshole you really are. He loves and looks up to you so much and I refuse to take that away from him" I take a sip of the orange liquid "Don't think I'm telling you all this because I'm on your side, I'm not. Like I told Rosita, I'm not on her side but I'm not on your side either, I'm on Y/S/N's side and what he wants is his daddy alive and-" I pause, nervously tapping the fork against the plate with a clink

"And what Y/N?"

"I refuse to let them take my son's daddy away from him" I sigh "I would watch myself around them if I was you, Negan"  

"You know by you just telling me all of this, Y/N, does technically mean that you are on my side"

"No" I shake my head "I would be if I was helping you against them. I'm not. What I'm doing is warning you, there's a difference"

"Touché" Negan raises his glass "Thanks-" he takes a sip "For the warning" 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part ten
> 
> No Negan in this chapter, unfortunately. He will return in the story once he returns to Alexandria in the show (Or I might just do a chapter from his perspective in third person....we'll see)
> 
> Credit for dialogue goes to The Walking Dead (S07E09)

Alexandria was a ghost town, quiet and deserted. I sat out on the front porch with a glass of lemonade in hand, for once getting to enjoy the peace and quiet like it was meant to be enjoyed – laid back and relaxed without a care in the world.

“Y/n” Tobin strolls over, one boot after the other “We have a car missing” his finger pointing behind him to where the said car was supposed to be “Do you happen to know who took it?”

“No” I groan with a shake of the head “Did you tell Rick about it?”

“Yeah, he’s out there with everyone else”

“Alright, I-” My screen door creaks open, little y/s/n skipping out still in his pajamas in the middle of the afternoon  

“Mommy”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Mommy, I’m hungry, can you make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich please?”

“Sure kiddo” I lay the glass on the table next to the pitcher and stand taking a hold of y/s/n’s hand “Excuse me Tobin” we make our way inside towards the kitchen, y/s/n plopping himself down at the table while I take out the ingredients and make him his lunch

“Mommy, when is daddy coming back?”

“I don’t know honey” I answer with my focus on the knife spreading the peanut butter across the slice of bread

“I miss him” y/s/n pouts his bottom lip in sadness, feet dangling from the edge of the chair “What if he never comes back because the monsters got him?”

“Don’t talk like that y/s/n, daddy is fine. He always wins when it comes to the monsters because he is strong, remember?”

“Like Batman, right mommy?”

“That’s exactly right, honey, just like Batman” I place the plate in front of him “Do you want a glass of water or juice with that?”

“Juice”

“You want your favorite apple juice box?”

He nods his head dramatically, confirming with a muffled “Yes”

I walk to the fridge and pull out a Minute Maid juice box, inserting the straw in the hole, placing it front of y/s/n on the table

“Thank you mommy”

“Your welcome sweetie, enjoy” my lips placing a kiss on his head

“Mommy, did you ever fight any of the monsters?”

“I did when-” I pause hearing the gate open outside

“When what mommy?”

“Y/s/n, mommy is going to step out for a bit okay? You just stay here and eat your sandwich and do not come out until I come and get you alright?”

“Okay” he smiles

“Good” I plant another kiss on his head and step outside witnessing Tobin and the rest of the crew, a truck and a familiar looking man on a motorcycle inching closer on our territory, more vehicles following behind him.

“Rick, hello!” the familiar mustached man, Simon, greets with arms open at his sides, Negan’s minion’s behind him armed and ready “And, hello again” he addresses everyone else standing behind Rick’s shoulder

“We thought it’d be longer”

“Do you think we’re here for a tribute?” Simon inches closer towards Rick and company “Do you?”

“Is there another reason?”

“There is, we’re here for Daryl”

My brows furrow, heart doing flips inside my chest, perplexed

“Negan took Daryl” Rick retorts matter of fact, and I knew it since I was there at the line-up beside him when it happened

“Oh, but then your son showed up, Daryl went missing – might those two things be connected?”

“They’re not. We didn’t know he was gone till right now”

Having heard enough, I walk towards them standing shoulder to shoulder with Rick, shooting Simon a rather disapproving look

“You know Rick, I knew you would deny it which is why Negan wanted me to ask this pretty little lady here, y/n is it?”

I nod, arms crossed across my chest

“Nice to see you again y/n, it’s been a while”

Only a scoff escapes my lips, eyes shooting more than a million daggers into Simon who shakes his finger in front of my face

“A woman who prefers to get right down to business, I like that” he smirks “Y/n where is Daryl?”

“I don’t know” I spew truthfully “I’ve never seen him after the lineup and have not heard of any escape until you mentioned it just now”

“Mommy!” y/s/n shouts, his tiny feet running towards me

“Y/s/n I thought I told you to stay inside the house and not come out until I get you”

“I’m sorry mommy” He lifts his head, round eyes glancing at a wide grinning Simon “You’re my daddies friend”

“Yeah, little guy, I am. Nice to see you again, you’re y/s/n right?”

“Yes” Y/s/n nods “Where is my daddy?”  

“Your daddy is very busy at the castle kiddo but he told me to tell you that he will be back before you know it” Simon kneels down to y/s/n’s level, his finger playfully poking at his tummy “Your daddy also wanted me to ask for your help little man”

“Help with what?”

“You see, your daddy is worried-”

My eyes rolling at his choice of words

“Because Uncle Daryl is missing-” he continues “And he was wondering if you could help in telling me if you have seen Uncle Daryl around here”

“Alright, that’s enough, you are not pulling my child into this mess” my attention now averting on my son “Y/s/n, run back inside the house” my arm extending, finger pointing towards the home “Now, please”

“But mommy, daddy needs our help, we have to find Uncle Daryl!”

“Yeah, y/n, we _have_ to find Uncle Daryl” Simon stands, glaring at me with lowered brows

“Uncle Daryl is not here” little y/s/n speaks “But we-”

“Y/s/n, I will not tell you again, young man, inside the house now”

“Fine” he stomps his foot in anger, walking away

“Cute kid, he’s exactly like his dad” Simon chuckles

“Screw you” I retort

Simon grins, amused, fingertips holding on to his belt “So, none of you know where Daryl is huh?”

Rick and company shake their heads in unison, me included, playing along

“Alright, then this should be easy” he grins cockily “Now, everyone find a buddy. Gonna have to follow us around. If he’s here, we really need ya’ll to see him die” Simon and the Saviors lead the way, separating, searching every inch of our safe haven, breaking and destroying everything in sight beyond repair.

“He is not here!” I shout as one of the saviors ripped out my drawers, spoons and forks loudly smashing on the floor, my blood boiling as y/s/n’s muffled cries emanated from his closed bedroom door “Don’t you dare go in there!” I shout as the Savior pushed me aside, forcing himself into my son’s bedroom, snatching open closet doors and pulling out drawers, fabrics of clothing flying all over the place.

“Mommy!” Y/s/n shouts, terrified, running towards me, his arms wrapped tightly around my thigh

“It’s alright sweetie, come here” I pick him up in my arms, holding him close, my hand placing his head on the crook of my neck, shielding him from witnessing any more damage at the hands of Negan’s friends, as my son calls them.

“Mommy what are they doing?”

“Looking for Uncle Daryl, kid” the Savior responds sarcastically, leaving the house, I, quickly following behind him to the pantry where everyone regrouped

“Wow” Simon whistles “These are some bare shelving units” His hands running over the empty shelves “You guys have a barbecue or something and not invite us? Seriously, this is bad. Hope you’re not trying to hide stuff from us ‘cause that generally doesn’t go over very well”

“We have a lot of people” Aaron responds with a serious tone “It’s getting harder to find stuff and our focus lately has been on finding things that Negan might want. We’re still adjusting to the new system”

“We were going to scavenge more today” Rick speaks “If you just wait we’ll bring something back, we’ll find more”

“Awww” Simon mutters sneeringly, chuckling “Relax, I’m not here for a pick-up. Good thing. But that day is coming so you best do whatever you need to do. Dig deep. Go the extra mile. Take some risks!”

“We will” Michonne confidently answers back

“Well, we will appreciate that” Simon exits the pantry, the Saviors as well as Rick and company following behind him, me included with y/s/n in my arms “Thank you for the cooperation Rick” Simon’s hand on Rick’s shoulder as they made their way back to the vehicles “My apologies for leaving the place a bit of a mess but we got a litany of other shit to attend to! So do you, I guess. Tick-tock. Chop chop” A truck pulls up, Simon stepping inside, communicating with Rick from the passenger’s window “Oh, and Rick, if Daryl does turn up here two days from now, two months from now hell, two years from now, just know there’s no statute of limitations on this. Keep that hatchet handy. You’re gonna need it if he turns up with you people. And it won’t turn out the way it did for your boy” He slams his hand twice on the side of the metal door, the driver speeding away from the premises.

“Somebody care to tell me what the hell is going on, you all know where Daryl really is don’t you?” I spurt with a clipped tone “And the pantry?”

“Y/n” Rick softly utters my name

“What, Rick?”

“Y/n I don’t think it’s best that you know”

“Why, are you seriously telling me you don’t trust me?”

“No” he shakes his head, hands on his hips “I just-”

“Unbelievable” I counter not letting Rick state his thought, storming away from them back to my house, slamming the door in anger behind me

“Mommy” Y/s/n sniffles

“Yeah kiddo?” I lower him down and kneel to his level, my hands wiping away his tears

“Why were daddies friends so angry at us?”

“They weren’t angry at us sweetie” I lie “They were just angry because they can’t find Uncle Daryl anywhere and they are worried for him not knowing if he’s still alive or if the monsters got him”

“Do you think the monsters got Uncle Daryl mommy?” Another tear sliding down his cheek, my heart breaking into a million pieces inside my chest

“No, honey, I don’t think the monster’s got him, I think Uncle Daryl is safe because he is strong just like your daddy”

Y/s/n nods in understanding, his arms wrapping around my neck into a hug “I hope Uncle Daryl is okay mommy, I miss him”

“I know sweetie” my hand rubbing up and down his back “I miss him too but we have to be optimistic okay?”

Y/s/n pulls away, his soft, glistening eyes glancing warmly into mine “What does that mean?”

“Optimistic means positive, honey, hopeful”

“Op-ti-mis-tic” he slowly enunciated the word “I agree mommy” his lips form into a smile “Optimistic”   


	11. Chapter 11

Broom bristles swiftly swept across hardwood cleaning up the mess of Negan’s minions, little y/s/n helping, his tiny hands picking up spoons and forks.

“Mommy” Y/s/n calls as he stomps to the table with utensils in hand, angrily placing them on top.

“Yes sweetie?”

“Daddy is never coming back is he?” he questions with a brittle voice

Tears pricked my eyes “No, honey, he’s coming back, he’s just really busy at his castle remember?”

Y/s/n sighs “I guess so”

“Hey” I rest the broom against the edge of the table and kneel down to y/s/n’s level, my hands on his shoulders “Your da-”

“This would not happen if-if you and daddy were together mommy, if you and daddy liv-if you and daddy lived in the same house” y/s/n breaks down into tears, his hands balled up into fists rubbing on his eyes

“Honey-” I grab his hands and place them down at his sides, my own hands rubbing his face dry of the overflowing tears “Mommy is still thinking about getting together with daddy but what if I went out and looked for him, would that make you happy?”

“Yes” he sniffles, nodding, his shirt sleeve wiping away the snot under his nostrils “Can-can I come with you?”

“No sweetie, you’ll have to stay here so you can be safe from all the monsters outside okay?”

“But mommy-”

“You can stay with Uncle Carl, you want to stay with Uncle Carl until mommy comes back?”

“Okay” little y/s/n lowers his head dejectedly grabbing onto my hand, both of us, together, making our way to Rick’s house.

“Can I knock mommy?”

“Sure, kiddo, go ahead”

Y/s/n raises his balled fist knocking on the door, no one answering “No one is home”

“Try again sweetie”

This time he raises his foot, kicking roughly against the wooden frame, the door now slowly creaking open, Rick standing on the other side

“Y/n” he greets lowering his eyes “Y/s/n, how are you buddy?”

“Fine, is Uncle Carl home?”

“He is, Uncle Carl is upstairs, you want to see him?”

“Yes” y/s/n nods, running past Rick and up the stairs

“I hope it’s not a problem, I’m going to need Carl to babysit him for a few hours”

“Where are you going?”

“Out, is that alright with you?”

“Doing what?” Rick questions with a concerned tone of voice “Scavenging for Negan?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, your plate is already full enough as it is, no?” I scoff walking away towards one of the parked cars “Tell Carl thanks for me, I’ll try to get back as soon as possible” I open the gate and get inside the automobile, starting the engine, driving off in the middle of nowhere, seconds turning into minutes and minutes into hours until eventually coming to a bridge blocked by cars and wires “Saviors” my voice mutters lowly with a smirk as I take the key out of the ignition and step outside, readying my pocket knife for the walkers dragging their rotten feet lazily in my direction.

Annoyed, I clench my hand around my blade and attack, one, two, three, four walkers falling victim, my clothes covered in splatters of blood.

“Impressive” A disembodied male voice enunciates “But now we’re going to need your knife”

Scoffing, I turn around and witness a few men dressed in dark blue attire and black vests, their guns pointed in front of my face

“I’m one defenseless woman surrounded by a bunch of men, are those guns pointed at my face all at once really necessary?”

One of the men with curly brown hair and short beard steps forward, snatching the knife out of my hands, placing it in his pocket “You could be armed to the teeth with guns too for all we know missy, I know all about women and their hiding places”

“I guarantee you I’m not but you’re free to check if you wish” I spread my arms and legs, the man patting me down “Negan took all of my weapons, you guys know Negan right?”

“She’s clean” the man assures, stepping back “Lower your weapons”

The other men do as instructed, holstering their guns, a dozen or so eyes intently glaring at me like a pack of wolves staring hungrily at a sheep

“Where are you off to?” the curly haired man inquires with narrow dark eyes

“To pay your boss a little visit, wherever that is” I chuckle “I don’t know how you guys do it to always pop up unexpectedly like this but, believe it or not, I’m actually really happy that you guys are here because you just saved me a shitload of time”

“Our boss who?”

“Negan, duh!” I speak in a ditzy manner “Listen, cut the bullshit, I know you guys are Saviors, I know that you know Negan because road blocking is his shtick alright, I know-”

“That we could gut you right here, right now?”

“Which I know you won’t bec-”

“She’s one of them Gavin” A dirty blonde long haired male interjects “An Alexandrian”

“You saw her there?”

“Yeah, it took me a while but I remember her now, she’s the one with that scrawny little rascal of a kid, Simon knows him well apparently”

“Asshole, mention my son again and I’ll come over there and yank your balls out through your throat, we clear?”

The other men poke fun at their group member, chortling, my focus back on the curly haired male in front of me

“You have a kid huh?” Gavin questions attentively

“My son is none of your concern, I want to see Negan and I need you to take me to him”

“Yeah but the thing is, I don’t think Negan really wants to see you, he hates uninvited guests”

“I see one of your men there has a walkie dangling from his waistband” my finger pointing at a tall, bulky African American male “Call Negan, ask him about me”

Gavin turns his head, extending his arm towards the gentleman who places the Walkie in Gavin’s hand “Dwight”

“Yeah?”

“It’s Gavin, put Negan on the walkie, it’s important”

“What is it about?”

“Dwight, just put him the fuck on”

“Alright, asshole, hold on one sec”

A few minutes pass, the walkie stuttering “Gavin, I swear to fucking God if you tell me there’s a problem-”

“No, no problem boss. There is a woman here, keeps insisting she needs to see you”

Negan chuckles “Is she hot?”

I roll my eyes while Gavin skims his orbs over my figure “Very”

“Describe her to me”

“Y/h/c hair, lean, busty, not too tall, y/e/c eyes”

“Y/n” he sighs “She have a child with her?”

“No, she’s alone”

“God dammit, bring her here”

“Will do sir” The walkie goes dead, Gavin handing it back to the gentleman, his digits wrapping around my arm dragging me to one of their trucks where they tie my hands with some rope and place a bag over my head, carelessly tossing me in the backseat

“Is this really fucking necessary?”

“Just shut the fuck up and stop complaining, you got what you wanted”

“Wow, what a gentleman you are, Gavin is it?” Everyone remains silent, the car ride feeling like an eternity, finally arriving at our destination after a few hours.

“Alright, we’re here” Gavin speaks “Take her out” 

The car door clinks open, digits once again wrapping around my arm, dragging me out.

“Gavin what the fuck, untie her and take the fucking thing off of her head, for fuck sake”

The bag gradually gets pulled off my head, orbs squinting, adjusting to the brightness of the sun

“Y/n” Negan enthusiastically calls my name with a cocky grin, his arms open wide at his sides “Welcome to my humble abode”

Roaming my eyes I witness the giant factory that stood tall before me “Impressive” I quip sarcastically

“Im-fucking-pressive indeed sugar” Negan inches closer, still grinning “How the fuck are you darling?” his free hand gently rubbing along my arm

“Fine” I respond bitterly “Can we talk in private?”

“Of course doll, follow me” I do as he suggested, following behind Negan, men and women immediately kneeling in his presence as he strolls through the dim lit hallways, eventually halting in front of a large door to which he opens, both of us stepping inside.

“Nice to see how well you did for yourself Negan” My eyes scan the well decorated room of black leather couch, large bed, lamps, curtains, and deer head hanging on the wall “Why do your people kneel for you?”

“Respect, sweetheart”

I scoff “Or is it fear?”

“Fear keeps them in line darling” he chuckles “Why are you here, I did mention I would be back in Alexandria”

Swallowing back tears, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear “Our son is pretty worried about you, upset. He’s afraid that his daddy is never coming back”

“Y/n-”

“You know Negan, you can hurt me all you want, I don’t care, but I’ll be damned if I let you hurt our son. You don’t have the right to walk in and out of his life whenever you feel like it and think that he’s going to be okay with it, alright?” 

“Don’t give me that shit y/n, you know I love that boy to death and would do nothing to hurt him”

“Do you, because you haven’t seen him in a couple of days and I can’t, for the life of me, help but think that it’s intentional”

“It’s not, I’ve been busy dealing with th-”

“By the way, why didn’t you come along when your minions ransacked my house and completely destroyed your sons favorite toys, are you okay with them doing that because I sure as hell am not”

“No, I-”

“And your men had the nerve to-” Negan breaks me off with a kiss, slow and passionate, quickly breaking away

“Shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes would you?”

“I am done defending you to our son, Negan” I whisper “I’m not doing it anymore, I’m tired”

“Stay with me and you won’t have to” he glides his thumb gently along my lips “Our son wants us together so let’s give him that, what are you afraid of?”

“Nothing” I remove his hand, taking a few steps back, away from him

“Then what is so fucking hard about doing what is good for y/s/n, why are you making up excuses to stay with a group that no longer fucking trusts you y/n?”

“Wow, and you do, how badly are you dying to ask me where Daryl is right now even after I honestly told your men that I don’t fucking know?”

“I’m not going to ask you because I believe you” he treads closer, spinning me around to face him, his eyes staring deeply into mine “I believe you” Negan lowers Lucille, resting her on top of his glass table, long arms enveloping me in a hug to which I quickly break away from

“Y/n-”

“You know, Negan, I do want to get with you and stay here but I’m not going to be doing that if you’re keeping your wives. It’s not fair for me to give up everything and for you to give up nothing, not even a little bit. If you really love me like you claimed a few days ago then you’d get rid of them and just have it be us three”

“If that’s what you want y/n, if that’s what it takes for you and y/s/n to be with me, then you fucking got it”

“Don’t bullshit me Negan”

“I’m not. My wives don’t even fucking love me anymore anyway. I sense their dislike towards me and they only did what I asked because they were afraid even after I never forced them into anything, I never hit them, I-”

I place my index finger in the middle of his lips, silencing him “I don’t care, will you get rid of them for y/s/n and I or not, I want the truth Negan, no going back on it because I can always leave you again and go back to Alexandria”

“Yes” he mumbles against my finger “I’m done with them, you have my fucking word”

“Alright, I’m holding you to it”

“Good, I’ll have a few of my men drive you back, help you pack, bring you back here with y/s/n”

"You're not coming?"

"I want to surprise him when he arrives sweetheart"

"Alright" I nod in agreement, walking away, pausing momentarily, a person instantly popping into my head “Where is Eugene?”

“Eugene is in his room, he’s fine”

“I want to see him”

“I promise you will when you get back”

“You and your promises” I scoff “You get your sons baseball bat yet?”


	12. Chapter 12

Bags are packed and stuffed away in the truck, little y/s/n smothering Rick and the others in goodbye kisses and hugs.

"Y/n" Carl speaks my name with a smile, arms enveloping me in a hug "You don't have to do this"

"No, I do, but trust me Carl, it's nothing to do with you guys, alright?"

"Yeah" he nods, his smile fading "Alright"

"I'm ready mommy" y/s/n's tiny hand lightly pulling on my pant leg "Let's go see daddy"

"Sure sweetie, le-"

"Y/n before you go, one last word?"

"Yeah, Rick"

We step away from everyone else, Rick stands with his hands on his hips, huffing out a breath of air before continuing

"You're making a mistake y/n"

"Maybe so but it's what my son wants, and like I just told Carl, it's nothing to do with you guys"

"You're content having your son live with them under the same roof, the same people who tortured us, the same people who killed Glenn and Abraham?"

"And you think starting a war is going to bring them back, fix everything?"

"Please ans-"

"Yes" I interject "I am content with that because I know Negan, he would never do anything to harm him and he would never do anything to harm me. You guys on the other hand, he would not bat an eye to use Lucille again which is why you're the one making the mistake. He is brutal, always was"

"That may be so but when it comes down to it, we can be just as brutal, you know this y/n, you've been with us since the beginning"

"You're right, I have, but truthfully speaking, you wouldn't need to be if you didn't put yourself in this position by going after people you had no business going after in the first place, and now look where and what it got you"

"It's not tha-"

"Rick, Negan is not the reason people in this team are dead, you are only because you were desperate and couldn't tell Gregory no. If you had, I guarantee you that Negan would still have been nonexistent to all of us and Glenn, Abraham, Spencer, and Olivia would still be alive"

"That's fine if that's how you feel y/n but if not Negan, it would have been someone else"

"Yeah, it might've but trust me when I tell you that they would not have been as ferocious and bloodthirsty as Negan"

"You're wrong"

"You say that because you don't know him like I do. Like I mentioned, he's always been brutal. But believe what you will, just don't say I didn't warn you when you start losing more people"

"Mommy, come on!" Y/s/n's soft voice calls out from a distance behind me

I turn my head and glance at my son impatiently swinging his body side to side "Coming, honey, one second"

"You should go" Rick utters dejectedly "Don't keep your son waiting"

"I'm going but before I do just know that I still love you guys, alright, I may be staying with Negan now but I'm not your enemy Rick"

"You're not our ally either, apparently" Rosita retorts as she walks past

"Rosita" Rick speaks her name warningly

"No, Rick, it's fine"

"You know they slept together?" she scoffs "And now she's going to stay with him. 'Not picking sides', 'only doing this for my son' my ass y/n"

My hands clench down at my sides but relax once little y/s/n wraps his tiny digits around my wrists, pulling, struggling to drag me away "Come on mommy!"

"One second" I giggle "Daddy is not going anywhere honey" inching closer, I place my lips by Rick's ear and whisper "Watch out for Rosita, she's getting reckless" my focus now going back on my son "Okay now we can go, come on munchkin!"

"Take care of yourself little guy, alright?" Rick blurts as we walk to the truck"

"I will Uncle Rick!"

We hop into the automobile and make our way over to the sanctuary where Negan was already outside waiting with his hands behind his back.

"Daddy!" Y/s/n jumps out of the truck, running as fast as his little feet would allow towards his dad, his tiny arms tightly wrapping around his neck in a hug

"Hey little man, I am so glad to see you, I got my favorite person in the whole world a present"

"Me?"

"Yeah, kiddo"

Little y/s/n bounces giddily in place "What did you get me daddy?"

Negan brings his hands forward holding a plastic baseball bat with plastic barb wiring wrapped around the wood

"My bat, you finally got it like you promised!"

"Indeed he did" I step forward, winking, placing my hands in my jacket pocket to feel a piece of paper I don't remember ever placing there.

Curiously, I pull it out and unfold it to read ' _The Kingdom_ ' in sloppy half print and cursive lettering

"Y/n" Negan brings me out of my trance "Are you ok, you look like you just saw an effing ghost sweetheart"

"Yeah" I half fib, placing the note back in my pocket "I'm fine"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Discontinued for the time being*

Y/s/n proudly mimicked his father with a red scarf around his neck and tiny hand holding a mini Lucille on his shoulder, feeling on top of the world as we made our way to Negan’s private quarters, little y/s/n immediately rushing over to the couch, taking a seat.

“Alright, gentleman, put the damn bags down and everyone except Dwight get the hell out” Negan barks, his men immediately following orders, rushing out the door “Y/s/n-” his undivided attention averting to his son who sat playfully toying with his bat, swinging it side to side “You hungry kiddo?”

“A little”

“Alright, daddy’s friend here will take you to the pantry and let you pick out whatever you want, okay?”

“Negan” I concerningly convey his name, not fancying the idea of our child being alone with any of his men but, of course, Negan went on ignoring me like the asshole he is, his focus remaining on our child.

“No” y/s/n shakes his head “Why can’t you take me daddy?”

“Because your mom and I have to talk about grown up things and you’ll only get bored, little guy”

Little y/s/n lowers his head in sadness, sighing “Okay” he jumps from the couch, small shoes inching towards Dwight, hesitantly grabbing a hold of his hand

“Dwight” Negan mutters his name warningly “Anything happens to my boy, he gets one scratch on his body, you and Lucille will be having a really long conversation later” He threatens, easing my worry for the time being “We freaking understood?”

“Yeah” Dwight nods in agreement “Understood”

“Good, you may go now”

Dwight and y/s/n step out, Negan shutting the door behind them, smirking slyly

I shake my head in disapproval, eliciting a chuckle from the man in front of me

“What are you shaking your head for, doll?”

“You’re spoiling him”

“Yeah, well, he deserves to be. He deserves every fucking good thing that is left in this world, sweetheart” brown eyes hungrily rake down my body as Negan snakes near, closing the space between us, pink lips inches away from interlocking with mine “As do you, baby”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” Negan murmurs, leaning in for a kiss, one I was not accepting as my hands firmly pressed on his pectorals, pushing him back “Easy, tiger, I want to see Eugene first”  

“Shit” Negan runs his finger along the bridge of his nose “I completely fucking forgot about that”

“Take me to him”

“I will, eventually” he mouths in a whisper, teeth biting down on a thin lower lip, ungloved hand gripping around my waist

“No” I grab his hand and pull it off “Now”  

“Y/n, baby” he pleads “Do you realize how hard it will be for you and I to have alone time with a four old around? I say we take advantage of this fucking opportunity now while we still have it”

“Negan, you are coming off as desperate and it is really not a good look on you, darling” I enunciate sarcastically, raising my hand, fingers pinching his right cheek “Take me to Eugene or you’re not getting sex from me, period”

“That is not cool, y/n” Negan shakes his head “Get a man all fucking worked up then just leave him hanging?” He clicks his tongue “Not fucking cool”

“Negan”

He lowers Lucille from his shoulder, tall, lean frame leaning back, grinning “Say please”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head “Please?”

“Well, alright. Follow me, princess” I do as instructed and follow behind him through same looking, empty, chilly hallways, halting in front of a red door.

Negan gradually raises Lucille, using her to knock on the hard wooden surface, the door slowly swinging open, Eugene standing on the other side of the threshold, expressionless like a robot

“Negan” he greets with a monotone voice, light colored eyes focused on me “Y/n”

“Hi Eugene” I smile “May I come in?”

“You may” Eugene steps to the side, motioning with his hand for me to waltz in “Negan?”

“Actually, I was hoping to speak with you alone, Eugene” I add “I’m sure Negan has other important matters to attend to, no?”

Negan scoffs through a smirk “Yes” he plays along, winking “As a matter of fact, I fucking do. If you need me I’ll be in the pantry with Dwighty boy and Y/s/n”

“Alright” I simper, waving Negan goodbye as he ambled off into the shadows, whistling that familiar, haunting tune that still makes me cringe every time I hear it “Eugene, h-”

“Why are you and y/s/n here?” he cuts in, taking a seat on the burgundy couch chair facing a television “Did Negan force you to come here?”

“No, no, I’m here voluntarily”

“Why?”

“That’s not important, it’s a long story” I reciprocate, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear “You know, last time I was in Alexandria, Rick and the others were still worried about you, how are you holding up?”

“Fine. Negan values my presence and skills here. That is more than I could say for Rick and the others, constantly undermining my abilities, devaluing my opinions”

“What?” finely trimmed ‘v’ shaped brows crease, muddled and taken aback by his answer “Y-You actually like it here?”

“Yes” he answers confidently with pride “I am at home here, y/n. Soon, I have the feeling you will feel the same way”

“I guess we’ll see” I clear my throat “I may not understand it but I am happy that you like it here, really”

“Well, thank you y/n, that means a lot coming from you”

“Yeah” I sigh with a fake smile, hand in my pocket, fidgeting around with the note I found earlier

“Something wrong, y/n?”

“Ca-Can I trust you Eugene?”

“You can. What is on your mind?”

“A lot, but first I need your word that this conversation never leaves this room and that Negan never hears of what I am about to tell you”

Eugene raises his hand as a pledge “You have my word that Negan will not hear a peep of this conversation”

“Okay” I nod “Do you...” the words struggling to escape from my lips, uncertain that this new Eugene is indeed one to be trusted

“Y/n?”

“You…” deep breath, exhale “You ever hear of a place called The Kingdom?”

“I have heard of the said location, yes, Negan and his men have mentioned it among one another in conversation”

“You ever hear them say where it is?”

“Regretfully, I have not. May I ask why you want to know of this said location, The Kingdom?”

“Because someone at Alexandria stealthily placed this note-” I pull out the piece of paper from my pocket, holding out for Eugene to see “Inside my pocket and I don’t know why” I fib, understanding exactly it was because that is where Daryl is hiding, information that this new, different Eugene, did not need to be bothered with.

The less he knows, the better.

“Well, this is an unfortunate situation you find yourself in. I do apologize for not being of any assistance to you y/n”

“No worries, Eugene, I’ll find out eventually. Thanks anyway” I place the note back in my pocket and saunter towards the door, his voice stopping me in my tracks, heart beating rapidly inside my chest

“Maybe that is where Daryl is”

I casually spin around, facing him “Is that where you think he is, Eugene?”

“Negan’s men checked Alexandria and he wasn’t there, as I am sure you already know. My guess is he’s either at The Kingdom or at the Hilltop”

“Well” I scoff “It’s just like you said Eugene, maybe”


End file.
